Blog

Aug 10, 2023

Have a Feeling: Chocolate Cheddar Cheese

Chocolate Cheddar Cheese. This cheese is so fucking weird. Honestly I think

Chocolate Cheddar Cheese.

This cheese is so fucking weird. Honestly I think you’d like it, but only if you listen to me and do exactly as I say. You don't get to have an opinion about this cheese until you’ve done everything I’ve told you to do here. You can't even say that you think it sounds gross because of course it sounds gross — it's Chocolate Cheddar Cheese. The fact that it sounds gross is not news. The fact that you might like it, could be.

You Will Need

red winegrapesthe cheesesome crusty bread (if only for a palette cleanser because boy howdy, you’re gonna need one)

1. Take a drink of the wine. In the same movement that places the glass back on the table, reach for a small super tiny cube of the chocolate cheese and put that cube in your mouth.

2. You’re eating the cheese now. It's weird. There's probably not another word to describe it. Odd, maybe. Confusing. Ok there are two other words to describe it. Reach for a grape.

3. As soon as you swallow the cheese, eat the grape.

4. Form an opinion/feeling.

What are you thinking now? I like it. I like it the way I like watching Toddlers and Tiaras — it feels tacky, but once-removed, somehow. And it's best in small allotments. I can justify it. I don't know, you guys. It works for me.

Autostraddle.com is not affiliated with Trader Joe's, except that a lot of us shop there, and this one girl we know works there and we like her a bunch, but that had nothing to do with this.Seriously.

Laneia has written 301 articles for us.